I'm guest blogging today at The Lipstick Chronicles - a very entertaining and smart blog by a group of women writers.
If you want to see what I have to say today, follow the link in the above paragraph. I might post it here tomorrow - since they asked me to be a guest blogger, they get first crack at it - if you can wait that long.
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Monday, November 30, 2009
MIA
Sorry I've been MIA. I'm feeling out of sorts. Nothing terrible, but just not my usual self. And I sooo don't want to be sick right now. We still have so much to due around the house before Christmas. So before I come down with a cold, I have decided to rest a little more than usual and actually take care of myself, for once ;-) Yep and it took me 37 years to be able to do it too. Being grown-up and realizing it: that sucks :-D
So girlfriends, while I'm busy taking care of myself and am not around, I'll leave you with some eye-candy:
This is the song that has found an uninhabited spot in my mind and has decided to say there:
So girlfriends, while I'm busy taking care of myself and am not around, I'll leave you with some eye-candy:
This is the song that has found an uninhabited spot in my mind and has decided to say there:
Break Out
It's just that I'm getting tired. Not physically tired, psychically tired. Emotionally and intellectually tired. I'm just dipping my toes into a new pool of sorts. And while we've lived with some of this for, oh, seven years or so....the more formal social and educational aspect of this is hitting closer to home now.
Now that I've thoroughly confused you, I want to say it out loud. But this term, this subject, is loaded. It is rife with taboos and thorns and unwritten rules, as well as rules written at length and all but incomprehensible. And even more, all too often, with ignorance from folks on the outside looking in (And hey, I'll admit, that used to be me). Yes, I'm talking about "special needs."
Special Needs.
Yeah, such a simple little set of words.
But OH MY GOODNESS, so very loaded.
Now, I could do a post and be like the "Church Lady" and point out what we all already know:
Dana Carvey, the Church LadyEach and every one of us is "special needs" in the sense that we are all SPECIAL, and have our own quirks and strengths and so on.
And I do believe that.
But this post is about another aspect of "special needs."
And it's that I am tired of the taboos.
I am tired of not being able to say things out loud, for fear of stigma.
I am tired of when I do say it, somehow voices drop to a whisper, or I get an "Oh....ahh" and a quick look away kind of response.
Or worse, a well meaning defense of my kid saying "No way, that can't be right."
This is all making me want to strap on my mom armor and go to battle.
I have two, possibly three, kids who have special needs. Yeah, I could say, "different needs" or something like that. But I am tired and too old to be tiptoeing through the ever shifting sands of pc (or, more accurately: 'sc', socially correct) verbage. I mean they have needs that are, big or small, outside the standard box.
Disclaimer ahead: So, to be clear, in this post, I am talking about kids who don't fit the mold of standard track education or behaviors or medical issues. Special needs comes in all different forms and levels and severity, so I cannot speak to those needs that are not ours and would not try to. I can speak to what we are working with, in our home, with my kids. Disclaimer over.
What I want to throw out there (And maybe it's naive, and I hope the special ed/needs community doesn't flame me): Why the taboo?
Why do we have to whisper about this stuff?
Why is there such stigma?
Why does it have to be?
Why do well meaning folks instantly say, "No, that can't be right?" as if, if it IS accurate, then somehow that child is less than they were perceived prior to the new knowledge?
Nothing changes with this knowledge.
The child, my child, is not a different person if we know more about them and how their mind works.
Their "worth" is in no way based on how they learn or if they have glitches or if they cannot.
It's fine tuning.
Special needs information is not an appraisal of value or rank, it's information gathering; it is problem solving. It's fine tuning; academic approaches, behavioral needs, medical stuff....it's figuring out what works best for them and why. Period.
And I want to start talking out loud about some of the issues we are working through.
And I fear I cannot online due to the possibility of hurting my child somehow, somewhere, someday.
I want to try to open up to other families who might be dealing with some of these issues to share tips and ideas.
Even here, even now, I have to hedge a bit, worry about protecting them.
But the beauty of this blog world is the connection. I have been repeatedly amazed and grateful for the prayers and the help and the advice and the simple feeling of not being alone...due to this blog community. And I suspect there might be other families that have children who have medical, educational, behavior issues that are out there.
Heck there is an alphabet jungle out there of issues, we have a small forest of them in my house. Is it wrong to want to use resources, to connect to help my kids? To help me? I don't think so.
I hope that maybe other moms might be tired of not being able to talk about this part of their family life. I hope that other moms might be tired of their kids being slotted into a stereotype due to a possible "label" or some small bit of information. That small bit of information, that acronym, or term, is a tiny (or, sometimes, large) facet of who they really are - the wholeness of their person.
Are there any moms out there who are tired of pushing against the tide of perception?
I am.
I want to break out.
I want to talk about my kids.
I want to talk about all my kids.
I want to have conversations about special needs - without the stigma.
I want to shout: having a different approach or way of learning or brain wiring doesn't make you less.
It's different. Less common maybe.
It takes some brainstorming, a lot sometimes.
Don't slot my kid, don't presume.
They may really have that issue, and it's a little scary.
They may not, but then they probably have another one to work on.
But that very thing (the one that's not 'pc' to talk about outright), might just be one of their strengths as well, depending on how you look at it.
But, let's break the taboo.
Let's start saying these things out loud.
If you can't speak of it, name it, it has so much more power, but the wrong kind.
And that breaks my heart.
But it also makes me angry because it's wrong.
We have to advocate and be strong for these kids especially.
So I guess I'm talking. Armor on.
Because they deserve it.
Because they are beautiful.
And I'm their mom.
And I do believe that.
But this post is about another aspect of "special needs."
And it's that I am tired of the taboos.
I am tired of not being able to say things out loud, for fear of stigma.
I am tired of when I do say it, somehow voices drop to a whisper, or I get an "Oh....ahh" and a quick look away kind of response.
Or worse, a well meaning defense of my kid saying "No way, that can't be right."
This is all making me want to strap on my mom armor and go to battle.I have two, possibly three, kids who have special needs. Yeah, I could say, "different needs" or something like that. But I am tired and too old to be tiptoeing through the ever shifting sands of pc (or, more accurately: 'sc', socially correct) verbage. I mean they have needs that are, big or small, outside the standard box.
Disclaimer ahead: So, to be clear, in this post, I am talking about kids who don't fit the mold of standard track education or behaviors or medical issues. Special needs comes in all different forms and levels and severity, so I cannot speak to those needs that are not ours and would not try to. I can speak to what we are working with, in our home, with my kids. Disclaimer over.
What I want to throw out there (And maybe it's naive, and I hope the special ed/needs community doesn't flame me): Why the taboo?
Why do we have to whisper about this stuff?
Why is there such stigma?
Why does it have to be?
Why do well meaning folks instantly say, "No, that can't be right?" as if, if it IS accurate, then somehow that child is less than they were perceived prior to the new knowledge?
Nothing changes with this knowledge.
The child, my child, is not a different person if we know more about them and how their mind works.
Their "worth" is in no way based on how they learn or if they have glitches or if they cannot.
It's fine tuning.
Special needs information is not an appraisal of value or rank, it's information gathering; it is problem solving. It's fine tuning; academic approaches, behavioral needs, medical stuff....it's figuring out what works best for them and why. Period.
And I want to start talking out loud about some of the issues we are working through.
And I fear I cannot online due to the possibility of hurting my child somehow, somewhere, someday.
I want to try to open up to other families who might be dealing with some of these issues to share tips and ideas.
Even here, even now, I have to hedge a bit, worry about protecting them.
But the beauty of this blog world is the connection. I have been repeatedly amazed and grateful for the prayers and the help and the advice and the simple feeling of not being alone...due to this blog community. And I suspect there might be other families that have children who have medical, educational, behavior issues that are out there.
Heck there is an alphabet jungle out there of issues, we have a small forest of them in my house. Is it wrong to want to use resources, to connect to help my kids? To help me? I don't think so.
I hope that maybe other moms might be tired of not being able to talk about this part of their family life. I hope that other moms might be tired of their kids being slotted into a stereotype due to a possible "label" or some small bit of information. That small bit of information, that acronym, or term, is a tiny (or, sometimes, large) facet of who they really are - the wholeness of their person.
Are there any moms out there who are tired of pushing against the tide of perception?
I am.
I want to break out.
I want to talk about my kids.
I want to talk about all my kids.
I want to have conversations about special needs - without the stigma.
I want to shout: having a different approach or way of learning or brain wiring doesn't make you less.
It's different. Less common maybe.
It takes some brainstorming, a lot sometimes.
Don't slot my kid, don't presume.
They may really have that issue, and it's a little scary.
They may not, but then they probably have another one to work on.
But that very thing (the one that's not 'pc' to talk about outright), might just be one of their strengths as well, depending on how you look at it.
But, let's break the taboo.
Let's start saying these things out loud.
If you can't speak of it, name it, it has so much more power, but the wrong kind.
And that breaks my heart.
But it also makes me angry because it's wrong.
We have to advocate and be strong for these kids especially.
So I guess I'm talking. Armor on.Because they deserve it.
Because they are beautiful.
And I'm their mom.
Eye Poping Illusion Ever Seen
This is one of the best illusions i have seen. Take a look at the picture, then stand up and go like 7-8 steps away from the monitor and take another look at the picture. The faces change places.
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World's Biggest Python Caught In Wires
The giant dwarfs modern python, which usually don't exceed 6-6.5 metres and weighs 403 pounds are thought to be the largest living snakes,Caught In Wires...
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Sunday, November 29, 2009
The waiting begins. Advent.
Waiting.This blog is about nothing if not waiting.
Waiting is one of the very worst skills of mine; by which I mean, I stink at waiting.
I am wretched at waiting because I have no patience.
So, of course I have had to wait many times, and surely will continue to.
And it is surely the reason I have eight children.
I have waited for many things and people over the years.
Sometimes I fall into the huge trap of "wishing away my life" (as they say here in the south) by the way I wait.
It's true.
I have done that far too much, far too often.
I suspect I've lost years.
I have waited impatiently, filled with busyness, to finish college.
To get into grad school and out again.
Waited for Coffeedoc to finish med school. Then internship. Then residency.
Waited to stop being broke.
Waited to get married (seven years dating, so, I'm not kidding).
Waited to get pregnant (but only the third time...and that wait was particularly long and particularly difficult on all levels).
Waited to adopt. To be selected by a birthmom. To hold that baby.
Waited to adopt from Ethiopia. To jump through the paperwork hoops. To be matched with a referral. To pass court. To travel.
Waited for the CDC to clear my daughter to come home. To be allowed to travel.
Heck, I can turn waiting for Coffeedoc to get home for dinner into a sporting event.
So, yeah, I wait...all too often. And I do it all wrong.
Patience is NOT one of my virtues. Thus, I suffer a bit, or a lot, waiting.
The reason to drone on about all this waiting is that today is a special day.
Today is the day to try, once again, to approach waiting in the right spirit.
Today is the day to reframe the waiting into a better approach: preparation.
Today is the day to recognize the beauty of the wait: the anticipation, the slow glow of expectation.
Today is the first Sunday of Advent.
I love Advent.When done right Advent is a season (four Sundays) of rich tradition, prayerful contemplative expectation, a settling into the deep; it is combined with an overlaid gauze of building excitement.
It is a preparation -not for a Christmas morning frenzy of torn wrapping paper and too many gifts.
But rather, a mindful preparation for the advent, literally the 'coming,' of the most important gift of all.
I almost always fail Advent.
I stay mired in the cycling hubub of my house, the must do's, the should's, the pressures and strains. I get lost in the jumble of calendar commitments and then resent the time they snatch away.
It's the curse of the goal oriented...this sense of 'eye on the prize.' Get to Christmas, make it happen.
But the trap is that then you miss the process, the very beauty of the anticipation.
You miss one of the most beautiful seasons of the year.
I wish away this gorgeous season.
This year, once again, I hope to be more mindful.
To prepare the gifts early enough to stop the last minute frantic fretting and gathering.
To dig in and slow way down.
I hope and pray to see and stop and savor the small moments - the ones I might miss as I move so fast through the days.
This is Advent. It's a beautiful time of preparation, inside and out.
It's almost Christmas! He is coming.
The waiting begins again.
"Know that the Lord is coming and with him all his saints;
that day will dawn with a wonderful light, alleluia."
that day will dawn with a wonderful light, alleluia."
From the Divine Office: First Sunday of Advent.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Freebies and a piece of my mind (rated M)
My Live Writer isn't working any more - and I hate it, seriously H.A.T.E. it. It drives me insane when Diego isn't doing what he is supposed to. I have uninstalled and reinstalled the latest version of Live Writer and I still get the same error. And I even did all those fucking restarts too, and you just know how long those take. *patience is so not my strong side* I have had it with Diego and after is post (which I am actually writing in this teeny-tiny blogger posting window - arghhhh) Diego will be treated to a nice little system restore. And if that doesn't help, I'll go full dominatrix on him and format. I am not taking crap from this tiny black piece of scrap metal on my desk. Damn the next one will definitely be an Apple, even if I have to save up a year longer. I've had it with Windows, Diego may look all sleek, shiny, glossy black, but he doesn't stand a chance against Apple design. I know appearance isn't everything, but Macs have always left me drooling. Seriously, I'm so not joking. Literally drooling. I'm a design whore and Apple are at the top of their game. Besides a sleek minimal design Mac would look really sexy on my desk, next to my fabulous nickel IKEA Forsa lamp (I have loved that lamp since it first came out). Well, enough of me daydreaming. I won't have the money for a new PC in the next 2-3 years, so Diego will have to do.
Most of you, at least those of you in the States, are probably getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving today. Sadly this year, we aren't celebrating. My mom is not home and for us its just a regular work day. Its these days that it sucks to be in Germany. Don't get me wrong, I love it here, I call it home, and I have the love of my life, my son-shine, and my family at me side in Germany. But on days like these I long to be in New Orleans, LA with my family in a wooden house with a wrapped around porch, eating a monster of a turkey, and talking English all day.
And then going shopping with my mom on Black Friday. That woman turns into a ferocious tiger when she sees the word sale. She goes all fucking ninja on Black Friday. Its actually quite beautiful to watch. Sometimes I catch myself wanting to sit down with a bag of salty buttered pop corn and just watch her shop from the side lines. Well that and the fact that I have to physically assist her in those mad shopping rampages by carrying bags and acting as a human compass (my mom has the worst sense of direction), so my feet always kill me, even though I never wear heels - an only Converse kind of gal - and basically take every chance of sitting down I can get.
Now in order to get this homesick self-pitying me out of the gutter, you have to leave a comment and tell me all about your Black Friday purchase. Let me bask in your shopping madness stories. I can't wait ;-)
I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving with your loved ones.
Love, Angie aka IkeaGoddess
Templates:
http://ascrapaway.blogspot.com/
http://grandmastemplates.blogspot.com/ 2-page
http://salamandrescrap.canalblog.com/
http://petit-lips.blogspot.com/
http://midnightscrapping.blogspot.com/
http://songbirdavenue.com/blog/
http://helenclyde.blogspot.com/ 2-page
http://sus-xandersmom.blogspot.com/
Quickpages:
http://silversword71.blogspot.com/
http://evakipler.com/
http://le-digiscrap-de-marie.over-blog.com/
http://meisiesdoodles.blogspot.com/
http://www.mellowbutterfly.com/
http://mumure-scrapattaque.blogspot.com/
http://bkkpom.blogspot.com/
http://redjuscrap.blogspot.com/
http://trishhdesigns.blogspot.com/
Alphas & Wordart:
http://digiscrapping.net/blog/
http://elegantwordart2.blogspot.com/ 2x
http://misskim.typepad.com/justmisskim/
http://colouryourlife.canalblog.com/
http://melslightbulbmoments.blogspot.com/
http://sjtowers.blogspot.com/
http://rinakroes.blogspot.com/
http://vicki20.blogspot.com/
http://wordartfun.blogspot.com/
Kits & more:
http://designsindigital.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=23&products_id=848
http://digi-designs.blogspot.com/
http://happydigiscrapper.blogspot.com/
http://ellielash.com/blog/
http://moon7x4.blogspot.com/
http://paulakesselring.blogspot.com/
http://piccolinadesigns.blogspot.com/
http://stacysbackdoor.blogspot.com/
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/wordpress/
Most of you, at least those of you in the States, are probably getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving today. Sadly this year, we aren't celebrating. My mom is not home and for us its just a regular work day. Its these days that it sucks to be in Germany. Don't get me wrong, I love it here, I call it home, and I have the love of my life, my son-shine, and my family at me side in Germany. But on days like these I long to be in New Orleans, LA with my family in a wooden house with a wrapped around porch, eating a monster of a turkey, and talking English all day.
And then going shopping with my mom on Black Friday. That woman turns into a ferocious tiger when she sees the word sale. She goes all fucking ninja on Black Friday. Its actually quite beautiful to watch. Sometimes I catch myself wanting to sit down with a bag of salty buttered pop corn and just watch her shop from the side lines. Well that and the fact that I have to physically assist her in those mad shopping rampages by carrying bags and acting as a human compass (my mom has the worst sense of direction), so my feet always kill me, even though I never wear heels - an only Converse kind of gal - and basically take every chance of sitting down I can get.
Now in order to get this homesick self-pitying me out of the gutter, you have to leave a comment and tell me all about your Black Friday purchase. Let me bask in your shopping madness stories. I can't wait ;-)
I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving with your loved ones.
Templates:
http://ascrapaway.blogspot.com/
http://grandmastemplates.blogspot.com/ 2-page
http://salamandrescrap.canalblog.com/
http://petit-lips.blogspot.com/
http://midnightscrapping.blogspot.com/
http://songbirdavenue.com/blog/http://helenclyde.blogspot.com/ 2-page
http://sus-xandersmom.blogspot.com/
Quickpages:
http://silversword71.blogspot.com/http://evakipler.com/
http://le-digiscrap-de-marie.over-blog.com/
http://meisiesdoodles.blogspot.com/
http://www.mellowbutterfly.com/
http://mumure-scrapattaque.blogspot.com/
http://bkkpom.blogspot.com/http://redjuscrap.blogspot.com/
http://trishhdesigns.blogspot.com/
Alphas & Wordart:
http://digiscrapping.net/blog/http://elegantwordart2.blogspot.com/ 2x
http://misskim.typepad.com/justmisskim/
http://colouryourlife.canalblog.com/
http://melslightbulbmoments.blogspot.com/
http://rinakroes.blogspot.com/
http://vicki20.blogspot.com/
http://wordartfun.blogspot.com/
Kits & more:
http://designsindigital.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=23&products_id=848http://digi-designs.blogspot.com/
http://happydigiscrapper.blogspot.com/
http://ellielash.com/blog/
http://moon7x4.blogspot.com/
http://paulakesselring.blogspot.com/
http://piccolinadesigns.blogspot.com/http://stacysbackdoor.blogspot.com/
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/wordpress/
Ah, Thanksgiving
I could go on for days, and should go on for my lifetime, listing the things I am thankful for. So many, too many to list or count, more than I deserve. So, for today, I will say that I am unspeakably grateful for my friends (blog and in person), family, and abundant life, for the gift of faith and the Catholic church, for the guests and the jokes, the turmoil and the fears and the cheers. All of it. For my crazy loud hectic chaotic wonderful life. Every blessed moment.And with that, this is the best way for me to show what I'm thankful for, the most important parts:
I am so very deeply thankful. For all of it.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
No Freebies
Argh, I fell asleep early and didn't wake up till this morning. I guess it will be double the freebies tonight ;-)
Ah, shucks
So. Laura and Christine have "awarded" me this tag....and while I usually ignore all these, I feel a bit scroogelike and ungrateful to not acknowledge them being so nice to link to me and my goofy blog. Actually, I feel a tad like Sally Field being glad someone likes her. Both of these gals have lovely blogs and the ones they tagged are all worth a closer look as well! The best reason for me to put this up is that I now get to list/link to seven blogs that I like very much. Ooohhhh, the choices......like a kid in a candy shop....Anyhow, first, officially, I get to post the blog award "rules."
1. Thank the person who awarded me the award, and link that person's blog on my blog.
2. Identify seven things about myself.
3. Award seven bloggers with the "Kreativ Blogger Award," post links to their blogs, and leave a comment on each of their blogs, to let them know of the honor. I don't really know what a "Kreativ blogger" is, so you can just give it to whoever you like!
1. Thank the person who awarded me the award, and link that person's blog on my blog.
2. Identify seven things about myself.
3. Award seven bloggers with the "Kreativ Blogger Award," post links to their blogs, and leave a comment on each of their blogs, to let them know of the honor. I don't really know what a "Kreativ blogger" is, so you can just give it to whoever you like!
So without further ado, seven things about myself (Again? in my aging brain fog...I fear I might be being redundant...):
1. I grew up riding horses in the desert of Arizona. I still miss the desert and those long views and that particular beauty.
2. I misplace my glasses ALL the time. I am mercilessly reminded by my children that I have misplaced my sunglasses in the fridge.
3. I thought I'd grow up to be just like Mary Tyler Moore....throwing my beret up in glee in the big city, a cool working gal.
4. I've always been easy to tease; it made me suffer somewhat as a child in a big family. Now it makes me laugh.
5. My Grandpa, the only one I ever knew, used to call me "Movie Star." And it totally embarrassed me but I also kind of loved it.
6. Yes, I have always been rather dull, WAKE UP...the GOOD blog links are coming right up.
7. I never dreamed I'd have eight kids, or live the life I do - much less be happy with it. And that's the most wonderful hysterical surprise treasure of all.
DONE
Ok, and now, in no particular order (Hey, I've learned a thing or two over the years....), are seven blog links to blogs that I always check in on....because they make me think, smile, ponder....at any rate, they are worth a click. Check 'em out.
1. Jen at Conversion Diary: Yeah, its a Catholic blog, but its also a mom blog and she is a deep thinker but also blunt and honest and real. I love reading her blog and also with this one you get a two for one deal: she has another blog that is just perfect for those bored procrastinating moments (admit it, we all do it), called appropriately enough: Jennifer's Favorite Links.
2. Becca, at Albertson Debrief. I love her because she wears her heart on her sleeve and loves fiercely, no matter what. She stands up for what she believes whether or not its considered "pc" and for that, she inspires me.
3. Courtney Rose, at Dandies in the Sunshine. She is another thinker and a feeler and I love to read her writing and her blog, because again it's real and funny and honest. She's full of passion and it comes right through the screen.
4. Lori, at The Road to Our Own, because, well, her family is beautiful, their hearts are beautiful. They live this bountiful life and actually seem to be aware of it along the way. That's rare air. Plus Abe is adorable and she is a special gal.
5. Jen, at Leap of Faith, because she has an awesome family, is very sharp and has a heart that runs deep. She is also witty and savvy; her blog follows the addition of their beautiful Bella (yeah, I know, but that is the good kind of redundant) and just following a functional happy family gives hope in this darkish world.
6. Thankful Mom at A Bushel and A Peck, this blog is one that I track closely because she 'gets it.' She has an ongoing series called "My learning curve" that always has great tips and thoughts that are applied to kids who are working through some issues perhaps: attachment and such. But the secret is that these tips and ideas can be applied to any and all kids, each family. I always come away with more to think about or an "aha" moment from her.
7. Zoe, at Chasing Saints. I like to visit Zoe's blog because, first off, she has the coolest banner going. Go. See. But secondly, she is a mere youngster (ok, to me) but she 'gets it." She's very sharp, she's on the adoption journey, and she's a thought-full Catholic who knows her stuff.
Anyhow. I'm honored. I feel a little doofy, but it's worth it if you go read those blogs. They are worth your time! Happy Thanksgiving!
Celebrities Are iPhone Freak
The iPhone and the iPhone 3G are undoubted the most popular smart phones ever with record sales to prove this. If there is one thing that bridges the gap between Hollywood celebrities, politicians, the uber rich and the common folk it is the iPhone. There are a ton of celebrity iPhone sightings, and here is a compilation of some of the most popular sightings of celebrities with iPhones. Check back as we update this page!
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