Disoriented Express

Colin Cotterill and I both write books set in Asia. His are set in Laos in the mid-1970s. This September we'll be going on a short book tour together, stopping off at points along the way as we drive from L.A. to Madison, WI for Bouchercon. We're planning a multimedia presentation with quirky Asian pop music and either a digital or slide show (depending on what sort of projector we can come up with.) It ought to be a lot of fun. Check the Appearances page of my website for where we're going to show up. Here's the poster for it:

Disoriented Media
I guess Ann Coulter sells papers, and attracts viewers and sells books, but I find that very depressing. She is not particularly smart. She is not funny. She isn't even really all that pretty, she just wears short skirts and has limp looking long blonde hair. What she is, is an ignorant, arrogant, vituperative boor.

I suppose I can't blame her too much for her cretinous beastly persona. Like anyone else, she's just trying to make a buck. I blame the press for her. If she said exactly the same stuff, in exactly the same way and was a dull, rumple-suited, balding white guy, would anyone pay any attention to her moronic blather? I doubt it.

I can't say that her latest nonsense about the widows of men killed in the 9-11 attacks is a new low, even for her. Near as I can tell she broke the vileness meter a while ago and so there's no way of measuring how low she can go.

I'm happy to listen to people I don't agree with, even caustic ones just so long as they employ some wit and intelligence in their arguments. Ann Coulter isn't one of them. Can't the media just boycott her? Can't we make her go away?

Reoriented Bookstore
In some good news, for a change, Aliens & Alibis, the bookstore in Columbia, South Carolina that I bade a fond farewell to a couple of blogs ago, has found some new funding and a new and much better location, and is reopening. Congratulations! As they said in the email announcing the resurrection: You can't keep a good bookstore down. Well, unfortunately there are too many examples of the fact that you actually can, but I'm delighted to see that Aliens & Alibis has popped back up again.

Discombobulated Voting
With regards to the last post on this blog, I did end up voting. It was a struggle. First, I went to my usual polling place only to be informed that my precinct had been split up into several new polling places. This in spite of the fact that the lowest ever turnout was expected for the election and the election commission was worried that it didn't have nearly enough poll workers to go around.

So, from my usual polling place they sent me to a different place. I went there, only to be told that I needed to go to another place. So I went there, walked up to the first table and was told, "oh, you're not here." At that point I was about to give up on voting, but they pointed across the room to another table and told me to go there. Finally I was in the right place.

They gave me my ballot and I went grumpily to vote. There was virtually nothing and no one on the ballot that I cared the slightest bit about. One of the most idiotic things about the California ballot is that I was asked to vote for a bunch of judges that I, and 99.9999999 percent of the rest of the electorate knew nothing whatsoever about. I left those votes blank.

I was cheered by one of my votes, although it was purely symbolic. I voted for a woman running against Diane Feinstein, the incumbant Democrat Senator from California. With her opportunistic support of such things as California's loathesome three-strikes law, the death penalty and the Iraq War, I do not at all like Senator Feinstein. In November, unless the Republicans put up someone I like better than her - which is doubtful - I will no doubt hold my nose and vote for her anyhow. But at least in the primary election I had a feeble chance to voice my disgust with her.

I was also somewhat cheered by the fact that it was indeed the lowest voter turnout ever - 28 percent. There has been, of course, a lot of hair pulling and chest beating over that, although unfortunately nothing will come of it. I'm hoping that one of these elections there will be a specific "Don't Vote!" campaign to keep home an even larger percentage of the vote. Maybe then someone will be forced to figure out ways to get people more interested in elections.

But, probably not.

To Vote or Not to Vote, That is the Question

It's election day in California and I'm trying to figure out whether or not I want to bother voting.

For one thing, I'm too irritated to want to vote. Sunday is a good example of why. I left the house at about noon to go to an author's event in El Segundo. When I returned four hours later there were nine phone messages. One was from a friend, the other eight were recordings from Jerry Brown, Billy Crystal and others, pestering me to vote this way or that. I deleted them all without listening to them, then I lay down to take a nap - I was running on about four hours of sleep. For several reasons I couldn't turn off the phone. During the next hour I got five more calls, all of them recorded campaign messages. So much for my nap.

Does anyone actually listen to these things? Once they realize that it is a recorded message, don't 99% of people simply smash the phone back down or angrily push the off button? The messages that really astound me are the ones that don't quickly shout out the name of the candidate or the vote on the proposition they want. At least then there's a chance of getting the name into the brain of the person you are pissing off.

Then there's the negative campaigning. I don't really care if candidates tear each other up, but I would like to get some sense of what they actually want to do and how they plan to do it. Simply showcasing themselves as the lesser of two evils is not a very good way to get me enthusiastic.

Yesterday, in a fit of pique at the garbage I've been hearing from Angelides and Westly, I described the choice between them as no different than deciding whether or not I wanted snot flowing out of my left or right nostril. Then I thought, that's a bit extreme, isn't it? Then I thought about it some more and decided: no, that's about right.

So far as I can tell, they both claim to want to do the same things that they probably won't really have the power to do anything about. They've both taken money from suspicious donors. Neither of them have any new, bright or interesting ideas. And the only chance they have of beating the Governator is if the electorate hates Arnold even worse than either of them.

All down the line there just aren't any candidates in the Democratic Primary who I care all that much about one way or the other. There's no inspiration to be found anywhere on the ballot.

As for the propositions, as usual they are poorly written, confusing boondoggles that won't accomplish much.

Proposition 81 is a bond issue to raise funds for construction and renovation of libraries. Who could be against that? I love libraries. I think they're one of the most important services that government can provide. But, I just looked at the Los Angeles Public Library website to see how many libraries there are within five miles of my house in Silverlake - 18.

I've been in about six of those libraries and in every single one the librarians complain that they don't have enough money to hire staff or to stock the shelves. Problem is, this bond issue won't help that. It specifically raises money to build more understaffed and understocked libraries. Something about this proposition smells fishy, well, porky really. Like if it passes it will have the construction industry chuckling happily all the way to the bank.

Proposition 82 sets up a whole new, poorly mandated and structured, no doubt inadequately funded bureaucracy to allow any child whose parents want it to, to go to preschool. I'm all for preschool. But this bill isn't going to help more than five to ten percent (at most) of the population and is going to give us just one more horribly run government agency that we will all learn to hate and complain about the lousy job it's doing. Meanwhile, the existing school system is widely regarded as an utter fiasco.

I'm also a little uncomfortable with the idea that it will be funded by an added tax on only one segment of society, even if it is the segment that can afford it the most. (Although, it is the group of people who need it the least.) Sure there's an argument to be made that since the rich benefit the most from society they should pay the most toward its operating expenses. But the whole point of so-called "civilization" is that we all do better by chipping in what we can and contributing to the greater, common good. It's a bad precedent. Today we're hitting up people making in excess of $400,000 per year to fund something; there's not too many of them so why not? But tomorrow, maybe it will be people making over $120,000 a year and there's a lot more of them. For that matter, why not anybody making anything over the California state average of about $35,000?

It seems likely that this will be the lowest voter turnout ever - or very close to it - for an election in California. The lower the turnout is, the more hand wringing there is likely to be over how to get voters more interested in elections. And maybe something good will come of that angst. So the little devil on one of my shoulders says: "Don't vote, hope that it will help teach these assholes a lesson."

But then the little devil on the other shoulder says: "You might as well vote, it gives you a stronger leg to stand on when you gripe about the morons running the government."

I'm still undecided.

Another One Bites the Dust

Deb Andolino and her son Gary always wanted to open a bookstore. Deb's the mystery fanatic, Gary's into science fiction. Last year they opened Aliens & Alibis in Columbia, South Carolina. I had a book event at their store last June. I was one of the first authors they hosted. They couldn't have been more welcoming.

The store was small, but well-lit, nicely laid out, comfortable and Deb and Gary are smart, funny and very nice to spend time with. Which is a good thing since only one person showed up for my event. It was one of those events that if I ever become a well known author, I'll tell young authors about to encourage them: "I can remember when I didn't have lines out the door of people waiting to have me sign my books, and my signature was still legible." Currently, it's a tale I trot out when talking with my other author friends and we're swapping horror stories.

At the time of the event, I worried about the ability of Aliens & Alibis to survive. It was located in a far corner of the sort of shopping center that begged the question: "is the mall half-empty or is it half-full?" Looking around, it was hard to imagine it was half-full.

Well, now the mall is even emptier. Aliens & Alibis is going out of business. I don't know if it was brave or foolish for Deb and Gary to open their store in a time when independent bookstores are dropping like flies, but I admire them for having tried. And I thank them for having hosted me on my first ever book tour. There's a new Barnes and Noble about five miles from their store. I don't know how much that has to do with their going out of business or not, but I suspect it isn't nearly so convivial place to hang out.

Elections and Bureaucrats

Here in California we are about to have an election and I'm having an even harder than usual time giving a damn. Two uninspired and uninspiring Democrats are running for the right to battle the Governator in the Fall. I don't know much about either of them. I've got the sense that they're both dull hacks with the sort of modestly corrupt political backgrounds that seem impossible to avoid these days, who will make little or no real difference if they're eventually elected.

One of the reasons they are unlikely to make any real difference is that the state government of California has its hands firmly tied behind its back by years of initiatives and referendums (that seemed like good ideas at the time) that have mandated both spending and tax relief. Every year there are even more deceptively written initiatives and referendums that in the long term do little other than further inhibit the ability of California's government to get anything done - for good or bad. This time around I'm thinking about voting No on all of them. Except that I'm going to have to be careful, because all too often they are written in a way that a No vote means you're supporting the idiotic thing they're in favor of. In which case you have to vote Yes to vote No. Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh!

As for governor, I will most likely vote for whoever runs against Arnold in November. So the only criteria I'm interested in is which of the two Democratic Party Bozos has the best chance of beating him. Somehow democracy seemed to make a lot more sense when I studied it in school.

But, the other day I took heart in the fact that dim witted bureaucrats are not merely an American phenomenon. A friend of mine works for CARE in Indonesia, mostly on reconstruction projects in the areas that were wiped out by the tsunami. He has to deal with a lot of bureaucrats from all over the world. He recently received an email from a European Commission program officer that included the following:

“Please consider however then [sic] considering changes in project activities that an amendement [sic] to the contract is to be considered an exception, to be justified on the basis that a non-amendment of the action would result in the non attainement [sic] of project objectives.”

My friend Tim describes that as: "one of the loftiest achievements of bureaucratese I have encountered." And he's encountered more than his fair share.

My Two Cents on Immigration

Immigration, and the diversity that comes with it, is the single most important factor in what has made the United States a global superpower. Relatively free immigration from all over the world is what sets this country apart from and, historically at least, above nearly every other nation on Earth. Simply put, if the U.S. wasn't a mish-mash of races, ethnicities and cultures, it would be a second rate country.

The fresh ideas and hard work of immigrants has been the driving force behind this country's success at every level. The reason that people all over the world - no matter how much they hate us lately - watch our movies and TV, listen to our music, read our books and magazines, click onto our websites, want our products and inventions; and why so many of them still, in spite of everything that's gone on in the past few years, want to come here; is our diversity. There is no other country that even comes close to the diverse makeup of population that we enjoy here in the U.S.

Immigration makes us strong. Unfortunately, illegal immigration also helps make us strong. If everyone who works in, or for America got paid a fair, living wage, we'd all be paying a lot more for the relatively cheap products we buy. We get mad about outsourcing t-shirt manufacture to China and Bangladesh, but we're still happy to go to Wal-Mart and buy cheap t-shirts. We get incensed about illegal immigrants picking our crops and working on construction sites; but we already complain about the high price of construction and if we had to pay twice as much for a head of lettuce at the market, we'd be ready to take up arms.

The ugly truth is that all of us benefit from the exploitation of labor, whether it's in China, Mexico or on California's and Texas' farms. It gets complicated by the fact that some of us are also hurt by it. How do you strike a balance between the loss of jobs when you shut down a shoe factory in South Carolina that makes shoes that sell for a hundred bucks a pair that not many people can afford; and importing the same shoes from China at forty five bucks a pair that a lot more people can buy? Sure, farmers could probably find plenty of legal workers to pick their crops at ten bucks an hour. The only problem is, how much are Americans willing to pay for a tomato?

This being an election year, illegal immigrants are being exploited in more than the usual variety of ways. What the politicians, business people and even most consumers really want is to quietly maintain the status quo. Most people benefit from it. But every election year it becomes necessary for the politicians to pander to the noisy people, the true believers, the activists; the people who can raise money for your campaign or make it tougher to raise money for your campaign, the people who are actually willing to go door to door on your behalf or against you.

It's an easy, if really dumb, rallying cry: "They're breaking the law, they're taking our jobs, protect our borders!" Most of the politicians carrying on about it don't really give a shit. They just have to sound like they do in an election year.

There is one, and only one, reason why we have illegal immigration: we're a rich country with available jobs. The reason most of our illegal immigrants come from Mexico is that it is a poor country that is next door. (Mexico gets its own share of illegals from Guatemala - an even poorer country next door to it.) We don't get much, if any, illegal immigration from Canada. When a person can get a decent job at a decent wage at home, they rarely want to go somewhere else to find work.

So, what's to be done? Let's pretend for a little that politicians and business people and American consumers really do want to do something about illegal immigration. Which they don't, but let's pretend.

Sealing the border isn't realistic. It's too long, it's too underdeveloped and people will find a way around it anyhow. (We do get illegal immigration from places like China. What are the chances of shutting out our determined neighbors?)

Opening the border and just allowing everybody and anybody to come in isn't realistic either. (There are actually people who advocate this. I think they must believe in Santa Claus too.) Then we really would be swamped and all the countries that started losing most of their educated elites and huge numbers of their labor force would not be happy. (If we wanted to start another war with Mexico - it has been over 150 years after all - this might be a good way to do it.)

Amnesty for current illegals sounds humane, but what next? If it becomes an ongoing policy we might as well just throw open the border.

A guest worker program sounds okay until you start looking at other countries, like Germany, that have one. It creates a permanent, authorized underclass. It doesn't really do much to stop the exploitation of workers.

The only real solution is long term and needs to happen in Mexico, not in the U.S. Our neighbor to the south needs to economically develop. It needs to become a first world nation that can offer plenty of good jobs to its own people. It needs our help to accomplish this. If we could stop our idiotic and expensive overseas adventures, such as in Iraq, we could easily afford the modern day equivalent of a Marshall Plan (the rebuilding of Europe after the Second World War) for Mexico.

The U.S. would benefit tremendously from assisting the economic development of Mexico. U.S. companies would get a lot of contracts to build everything from infrastructure to factories to shopping centers to housing. There would also be a lot of new jobs created in Mexico, so there would be a lot of people staying home to work, rather than illegally immigrating.

And, once Mexico achieved developed world status, we would benefit even more. Compare Mexico with Canada and you can see the possibilities. Despite having a population smaller than California, Canada is our largest trading partner. Mexico has more than three times the population of Canada and it is already our number two trading partner. Provide better and better paying jobs at home for Mexicans, and just imagine the potential Mexico has as an easily accessible market for U.S. products and services.

Okay, you might say, that's the long term, what do we do in the meantime?

If the U.S. were to announce a big, economic development assistance program for Mexico, it would immediately boost investment in that country. As the program got underway it would create a lot of jobs and very quickly fewer Mexicans would need to leave home to find work.

But, there would still be illegals in the U.S., so what to do about them?

Unfortunately, my solution is to, with a few changes, maintain the status quo for the time being. (After all, despite all the political posturing, it really is working reasonably well for most of the people involved.) The few changes I propose will hurt some businesses, but if they're going to hire illegals, that's a risk they will have to take.

Apply the federal minimum wage and health and safety laws to all workers, regardless of their visa status. If illegal workers are found in a factory or on a farm, treat them the way we have been treating them - send them back home. They took that risk when they came here illegally. But, also fine their employer and if they were being paid less than minimum wage or there were violations of health and safety laws, fine their employer more - a lot more. The money from the fines can be thrown into the Develop Mexico program.

Require employers to pay the appropriate taxes and fees - workers comp, etc. - for every worker they employ - illegal or not. If they don't pay, collect the back taxes and fine them some extra when they're caught.

Retain the law that grants citizenship to anyone born within our borders, but change it to exclude people who show up here only for that purpose. If, for instance, a woman has a child while she is here working - whether legally or not - her child should be eligible for citizenship. On the other hand, if she shows up in her last trimester of pregnancy just to wait it out and give birth; toss her and the kid out.

What we don't want to do is greatly tighten up our immigration laws and policies. A liberal, open, mostly welcoming attitude toward immigrants is one of the greatest strengths of our country. It is what has created the strong, powerful, affluent and creative nation we live in. And it will continue to do so if we let it.